At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
God, I missed his penis.
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