i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the day after is always just damage control
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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