I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
