Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
