so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
