these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
