Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
