life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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