Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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