Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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