You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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