You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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