Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
