Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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