Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
