Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
