sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
God, you're like boner-b-gone
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
