so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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