Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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