someone get that fucking seahorse.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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