Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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