I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
