I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
