I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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