Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
