JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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