Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
