New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
