Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
