if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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