So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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