You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
