I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
