Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
someone owes me an orgasm
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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