I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
