OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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