I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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