omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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