xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
