I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
