at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
