eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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