i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They took my balls.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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