fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
