i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
