Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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