did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
