I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
