Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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