The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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